University rules

Well, it's a new school year at USI, and as usual, there is a large influx of freshmen. Many of them are reasonably intelligent people with an interest in their major and/or higher education. However, a large group of them are inconsiderate idiots who don't know how to conduct themselves public-wise. This entry is for the latter group. The rest of the class is free to go.

1. If you go to the library, turn off your phone. Nobody wants to hear that you have 50 Cent's new awful song as your ring tone, especially when we are trying to study and/or relax in a quiet place. 50 Cent is not conducive to studying or quiet. In fact,
2. Stop listening to 50 Cent right now. 50 isn't exactly conducive to higher learning, lower learning, or any kind of learning at all. If you want good music with a good beat for a good time, and you feel you absolutely MUST listen to hip-hop, Mos Def has at least three albums.
3. If you are on the phone as you approach the library, stay outside of the goddamn library while you finish your conversation! This is common sense. No library allows telephone conversations inside the premises. If you make it up to the second floor of the library without turning off your phone, you missed several areas to stop and talk. USI's New Rice Library, specifically, has the entire center stairwell, the Starbucks cafe area, and the cafe area on the north side of the main entrance, all of which are fantastic places to use your mobile phone.
4. The above three rules apply to laptop computers where applicable.
5. Books cost a lot. You will probably need three for at least one class, and they won't be available used. This is a fact of university life, and something you may just have to get used to. On the bright side, there are multiple venues for selling and buying used books that do not involve the university bookshops. EBay, half.com, amazon.com, and the classic "talking to your professor about previous students who are looking to sell their book" are great options to save money on those bloody things. If you can't find a cheap source of textbooks, you can always try to make friends with someone who has a book and share it. Try not to only be friends with them because they have a book. If this is unavoidable, try to not let on that the only reason you tolerate their existence is because they had more money for schoolbooks than you did. They won't like it.
6. If you commute to school daily, you might want to think about getting there something like one hour before your first class. This rule goes double if you're lucky enough to have your first class around 10AM or after. Anytime after 10:30 or so, all the parking spots will be taken, except for that one lot waaaay far away, like a mile or so away. You know the one I'm talking about. I think it's called "Z lot" or something. (You might think it's called Z lot because it's the last in the alphabet, but it's not. It's because that's where they keep the zombie horde, made up of former students who tried to skip all the classes and take the final, then complained because they failed the thing.)
7. Dry campus means don't get caught. Not really, dry campus means don't drink, seriously, it's bad and stuff.
8. Drink off campus if you can manage it. There are a lot of dive bars and a few really good ones just three miles from campus.
9. Don't join Greek life. Unless you're a Scientologist, then you'll fit right in.
10. The wireless network is fantastic.*
11. Don't stand around in the middle of sidewalks, footpaths, and aisles, because if I see you doing it, and you're in my way, I'm going to punch you in the balls/other sensitive body part.
12. Nobody really cares if you smoke right outside the door. Just don't blow your smoke directly into the doorways. It won't do anything due to the buildings effectively having positive air pressure, but it's rude.

I might do another one of these at a later time, but I only did this one because of some people who were pissing me off (see rules 1-6).

*When it fucking WORKS.