28 December 2008

A letter to Apple

Dear Apple: What the fuck, guys?!

I greatly enjoy your products. I have an iPod, a MacBook, and I want pretty much everything else. However, if my MacBook is anything to go by, I ought to make sure I have a shitload more money than I do before I even think about buying anything else.

You see, Apple, most of my Apple products ... nay, ALL of them, have cracks in them at this point. My iPod has cracks along the right side of the screen, like so:
iPod Crack

This was tolerable for some time, as I have a habit of keeping my iPod inside a third party case (I have three). But then, sometime in the fall of 2008, I began to notice cracks appearing in the wrist-rest areas of my MacBook. Eventually, they became detached from one end and started poking me in the wrist, leading me to just remove the goddamn things, like so:
wrist chippingother wrist chippingHow the hell does that even happen?!

These were annoying but again, somewhat tolerable. I took to canned air-spraying my computer on a more regular basis just in case something got in through these new openings. But then, today, this happened:
Monitor chipping

What the fuck, Apple? What the fuck?

I'll be visiting one of your stores to see if I can get a "Genius" to recommend a course of action. I'm under AppleCare, so you motherfuckers really better do something. Srsly, I don't want this MacBook to end up like my old Vaio:
Photobucket

Fix my goddamn computer,

Matthew Wolber ("Lestack")


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