Britain, Britain, Britain. Why would you ever want to leave? Anybody who goes on holiday abroad is a traitor! I bloody love it here! Bloody love it! We produce the best films, the finest cuisines and our dogs are relatively rabies free. And this is all thanks to the peoples of Britain. Let us look at them in this program in which we now look at them now. Boom, boom, shake the room! - Tom BakerThat is an introduction from an episode of the hit sketch comedy show Little Britain. As noted heavily in the show, Britain is full not only of culture and history, but also idiots. Case in point: This news story from Britain's Guardian newspaper. Following on the heels of the Jerry Springer opera, which was the subject of an asinine obscenity lawsuit, one of the creators has decided to make a musical about Anna Nicole Smith's life. My only response is "ALKDSJFAKLSJDFALKSDFALKS" as that is what happens when I bash my head upon my desk without first moving my computer out of the way.
I'm glad I don't have to say, "This has got to be the stupidest idea for a musical ever," because I already know about the Jerry Springer and Batboy musicals (which incidentally had a long run on the West End). Granted, apart from stupid shit like this, the West End has Shakespeare plays and long-established old-ass musicals that most people have seen in one way or another before. When I was there, I saw Chicago and Fame, both of which are American. I didn't see any Shakespeare because ... well, I'm an idiot. I went for the cheap and easy ones I already knew about instead of LEARNING something about acting.
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Other topic: Who doesn't know "Muzak"? It's a widely-known term for that crappy music they play at every department store, mall, grocery store, and most other public places. They used to play instrumental shitty versions of shitty pop songs, until they got the idea to play the shitty songs themselves. They are the reason you hear crap like the Dawson's Creek song in the mall, and ... probably the only reason anyone under the age of should-be-dead-by-now heard even one Barry Manilow song before he started getting blown by Pop Idol contestants. At the risk of ripping off Best Musical Ever Sweeney Todd, "But not for long ... "
Muzak, based in North Carolina (reason 47,827 not to visit the American South), has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Apparently they owe between $100m and $500m. The CEO believes this will give the company* the chance to regain control of their finances and continue torturing people with good taste worldwide. Or, the way it was put in El Reg: Muzak says that its "sensory experiences" reach 100 million people each day. That should be a fucking war crime.
*hideous conglomeration of auditory shit
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Now playing: Dogma Free America - Episode 76.5--Dogma Free America
via FoxyTunes
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