I'm watching the Rangers-Penguins game because it's the first time in a very long time I've seen hockey on TV, and it's in HD to boot. It's the first interval now, and I'm seeing some adverts I've wondered about for some time.
I'm sure nearly everyone has seen the poker website ads. There's one where a bunch of cards are trying to get on board a bus but they can't because there's already a hand on board. There's another similar one with the cards in a bar. There's still another where a guy is talking about how you're playing everyone until there's one left, implying he's playing himself (I think).
The thing these ads have in common is the website they're for. I don't know if it's literally the same website, but every one of the sites is "not a gambling website". How do you have a poker website that isn't gambling? What's the point? If I want to play poker Senate Rules, I'll download a freeware game. Apparently it's a learning website. Really? It's a "learning" to gamble website. I don't think that qualifies as "not a gambling website".
Another ad that utterly fails to convince me of the quality of the product is for My Bloody Valentine 3D. They're advertising it as a movie full of sex and violence. I'm actually in favour of advertising that, because that's what's IN the damn movie. I don't see it as a bad thing because it's a MOVIE. Anyway, in the adverts, there's a blond girl having sex, looking up into a mirror on the ceiling, and saying, "I'm SO hot." Nobody told me Paris Hilton was in this film!
Seriously, the girl is much more physically appealling than Hilton, but that makes her just appealing enough to be murdered in a horror movie. The part that makes the ad even more unsexy is when she's being chased by the murderer through what looks like a rural motel car park ... still bare-ass naked. Is there a rule now that says horror movies have to have a Tara Reid lookalike running about naked? I can understand why many view that as a good thing, but I would hate to see nothing but Tara Reid clones in horror movies. For one thing, Tara (and very probably her clones) cannot act for SHIT. Her most convincing line ever was in The Big Lebowski - where she said to The Dude, "I'll suck your cock for $1000." Best delivery she's ever done.
Naturally, the ad ends with Naked-Tara-Double hiding under the bed (still naked). Maybe I'm weird but I don't find naked blondes running in sheer terror through a parking lot to be sexy. I don't even find it necessary for a horror film - not even a cheap slasher flick like this is obviously intended to be (let's be honest, nothing says "cheap slasher flick" like 3D glasses). When a film has a naked blonde running for her life, it makes me think her performance was so bad but they already had her under contract, so they decided to throw in a nude scene so they didn't feel bad for casting her.
Don't get me wrong; I have no problem with gratuitous screen nudity. But sometimes it actually takes away from the film. I greatly prefer when gratuitous nudity is in a film as a BONUS feature (not on the DVD, I mean you go to the movie to see the movie and SURPRISE! tits). If your movie needs to advertise gratuitous nudity (in 3D or not) to sell the god damn movie, you are doing something wrong.
I'm sure nearly everyone has seen the poker website ads. There's one where a bunch of cards are trying to get on board a bus but they can't because there's already a hand on board. There's another similar one with the cards in a bar. There's still another where a guy is talking about how you're playing everyone until there's one left, implying he's playing himself (I think).
The thing these ads have in common is the website they're for. I don't know if it's literally the same website, but every one of the sites is "not a gambling website". How do you have a poker website that isn't gambling? What's the point? If I want to play poker Senate Rules, I'll download a freeware game. Apparently it's a learning website. Really? It's a "learning" to gamble website. I don't think that qualifies as "not a gambling website".
Another ad that utterly fails to convince me of the quality of the product is for My Bloody Valentine 3D. They're advertising it as a movie full of sex and violence. I'm actually in favour of advertising that, because that's what's IN the damn movie. I don't see it as a bad thing because it's a MOVIE. Anyway, in the adverts, there's a blond girl having sex, looking up into a mirror on the ceiling, and saying, "I'm SO hot." Nobody told me Paris Hilton was in this film!
Seriously, the girl is much more physically appealling than Hilton, but that makes her just appealing enough to be murdered in a horror movie. The part that makes the ad even more unsexy is when she's being chased by the murderer through what looks like a rural motel car park ... still bare-ass naked. Is there a rule now that says horror movies have to have a Tara Reid lookalike running about naked? I can understand why many view that as a good thing, but I would hate to see nothing but Tara Reid clones in horror movies. For one thing, Tara (and very probably her clones) cannot act for SHIT. Her most convincing line ever was in The Big Lebowski - where she said to The Dude, "I'll suck your cock for $1000." Best delivery she's ever done.
Naturally, the ad ends with Naked-Tara-Double hiding under the bed (still naked). Maybe I'm weird but I don't find naked blondes running in sheer terror through a parking lot to be sexy. I don't even find it necessary for a horror film - not even a cheap slasher flick like this is obviously intended to be (let's be honest, nothing says "cheap slasher flick" like 3D glasses). When a film has a naked blonde running for her life, it makes me think her performance was so bad but they already had her under contract, so they decided to throw in a nude scene so they didn't feel bad for casting her.
Don't get me wrong; I have no problem with gratuitous screen nudity. But sometimes it actually takes away from the film. I greatly prefer when gratuitous nudity is in a film as a BONUS feature (not on the DVD, I mean you go to the movie to see the movie and SURPRISE! tits). If your movie needs to advertise gratuitous nudity (in 3D or not) to sell the god damn movie, you are doing something wrong.
