Goddammit, stupid people, stop breeding!
I mean you, {name deleted} of Fort Wayne, Ind., my future (I shudder to think) sister-in-law.
Let's look at the facts. You have two children by two different men. I don't have a problem with that as such, until there's the part where you don't care for them. That's the part I have a problem with. You're not a mother, you're a baby dispenser (a crude term, but it's becoming more true as time goes on).
The first child is healthy and a joy to be around ... until she got abused, and now she's scared as hell of anything remotely male. While pregnant with the second, you discovered you had a bleeding condition, causing you to need shots multiple times a day, every day. Your child is a special needs child whom you will have no chance of properly raising even if you could manage not to be a shitsucking fuckwit for a few minutes.
Then, you went to prison. You didn't even go for something fun, it was for CHEQUE FRAUD. Somewhere around then, you became a scary preachy evangelical Christian. All you need to do is change your position on Mexicans (that is to say, get off their dicks) and you'd be a dyed-in-the-wool Republican. After you got out of prison, you found out you had a uterine tumour ... of the same kind your sister, my fiancee, gets (except on her vaginal wall). The kind of tumour that feeds off œstrogen, one of the main hormones pregnant women practically shit out of every pore. Somehow, this didn't suggest to you that you should avoid having some tosser shoot his beans up your muff and you got pregnant AGAIN.
I'll admit your surroundings certainly aren't helping you. Your mother wants you to get a hysterectomy after the almost-certainly-doomed hellbaby is born. Perhaps I should've said "born", because there's no way that thing's gonna come out looking remotely human, sharing all that space with the tumours. Regardless, the medically not-fucking-idiotic course would be to get an abortion straight away, followed by the hysterectomy. Naturally, you won't do that, and your mother won't let you, saying she would disown you for an abortion. Never mind that she has no problem with her other daughter with this condition getting an abortion should she become pregnant ... I mean it's the same fucking reason, the same fucking procedure, what's the difference? Your mother wouldn't have to be there for Mrs Lestack's abortion? Or is she really that big a knucklefuck idiot?
Regardless, you'll either miscarry or die in childbirth. I don't think either one would teach you to STOP FUCKING WITHOUT PROTECTION, but just in case, I'm bringing you a gift next time I see you. Normally I would suggest getting you a gift card for a free abortion, but the problem with that is threefold: 1) I'm not sure they have those. 2) You wouldn't use it because you're a total fuckwit. 3) I need the money more than you do. So instead I bring gifts of a twelve-pack of condoms (that should last you a couple days), some RU-486 (same), and a wire coat hanger (that one is reusable).
----------------
Now playing: Opeth - Death Whispered A Lullaby
